Carolyn Churchill - author - speaker

Segment topics

Q. How do you know your sex life is as good as it could be?
A. When you are satisfied, that's what Total Sexual Satisfaction is all about. Take for example, some people stay with the same partner all their life. Would they wonder what they are missing by not sampling the "big buffet?" Some people have many partners in a lifetime. Do they wonder what it could be like to have one, ever deepening relationship? Basically, it's the practice of Great Sex, like a sport or game, that makes your sex life as good as you desire.

Q. What do you mean by orgasm is overrated? Isn't achieving an orgasm the reason we want to have sex?
A. It's my opinion that people place way too much emphasis on "The Big Oh." People worry so much about when and whether they will have one. Men come too soon, women don't come at all. So much hoopla. I'm not saying, don't have 'em. I think orgasms are great, and people enjoy having plenty, as many as they like. But think about this...what usually happens after an orgasm. Bingo, your done. Do you really want to give so much power to a physical, knee-jerk like response, however pleasurable. Look for a place beyond orgasm.

Q. Beyond orgasm? What does that mean?
A. I'm here to tell you about a place beyond orgasm. When you let orgasm be the most important event of your sexual life, it's like being in jail. It limits your options. People, naturally, tend to see it as the goal and head straight for that. Beyond orgasm allows you to be free to move into other kinds of activities, more loving, comfortable ways of making love. Yes, it requires practice, lots of practice.- - - We LIKE practice.

Q. How do I get to this place Beyond Orgasm?
A. One way to start is to identify the stages leading up to orgasm for yourself and your partner. Then practice building up and "camping for a while," rather than speeding up to the mountain top. Let your passions build, then cool. Have some hot and juicy activities, then relax into some touchy-feely kind of tricks, like massage. Practicing a "holdback" technique is the place to start. This practice is for men and women. Read my 101 Great Sex Tips for more ideas. Visit my web sites.

Q. What are some tips for getting out of a stagnant sexual relationship?
A. Here are ten tips specifically helpful to add some zip to a lackluster relationship.
1) Communicate, talk with your partner.
2) Believe in yourself, you are capable of being a great lover. You deserve to be loved. You MUST believe this!
3) Make some changes, Paint your lovemaking room, or hang up some lively cloth to change the mood.
4) Decorate with beauty and fragrance, have fresh air and a clean room for starters.
5) Clear the air, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, along with physically. Again communicate. Tell your partner what you need and want, specifically. (Easier said than done in most cases.)
6) Buy a book, find a sexuality coach, surf the web, troll blogs.
7) Plan a trip to get away, if only for a few hours. Do something different.
8) Pretend to be each other.
9) Agree to rest the need to perform and encourage the opportunity to play.
10) Kiss at least once a day for at least 5 seconds
Of course there are many more great tips in the 101 Great Sex Tips.



Q. What are some myths you would like to expose as fraud?
A. First of all a myth is simply a popularly held belief.

• One of these has to do with men are always ready to go, (hot to trot, want a lot) and women usually have a headache. People are people and either sex can be interested or not on any given day.
• That the kind of sex we have while we are young, I like to say at age 20, is the only kind of way to have sex. This misconception leaves people, as they get older trying so hard to continue having sex in exactly the way they did back then. When you allow your sexuality to grow along with the rest of you, we find that kind of 20 year old sex, is only a prelude, a warm-up to the possibility of even better experiences.
• That sex is some kind of dirty nasty activity to be done in private, lights out and don't ever talk about it. That sex is some kind of subhuman or animal like behavior, that "nice" people don't admit to being interested in. Please! Human sexuality is something HUMANS DO!

Q. How can I use sexual energy as vitality to empower myself?
A. First of all, welcome it into your life. People often get stuck when it comes to even feeling their own sexual energy, what I like to call vitality. Perhaps because of bad experiences we have come to resist or repress certain kinds of sexual feeling and it easily leads to turning it off or down. Or only allowing ourselves to feel "that feeling" at certain times and places. So start by really feeling sexy and sensual, and feeling good about feeling that way. Let your love light shine. Next learn how to build it in ways that are comfortable and feel "OK" to you. Again, the "101 Great Sex Tips" has lots of suggestions for practical ways to build your love life.

Q. How is the booklet "101 Great Sex Tips" different from other books about sex?
A. That's a great question. There are a lot of books about sex and they cover a vast array of subjects. What sets this little booklet apart is that it has a focus on how to shift the "energy" of sex. I like to say "lift" the energy or sexual vitality. Most books deal with either the physical stuff or the emotional factors. 101 Great Sex Tips takes wonderful advice from a lot of different sources and puts it into small bites of easy to use tips for everyday things people can do right away. These tips don't require a lot of time or expense to use.

This isn't just another load of intellectual "bull-o-ny." It comes from over thirty years of talking with people just like you. Real people, who are resplendent with real life situations and troubled by perplexing problems. People have shared from the bottom of their hearts and souls. I have been listening and pondering. These tips come from deep inspiration and from many years of my own rich and full practice of sexuality. I'm really ready to make Great Sex real.